Thursday, 9 February 2017

Term 2 OGR 2

TERM 2 OGR 2 by Servare on Scribd
Because of how difficult it is to see the storyboards in the pdf i have also placed them here so you can see them clearer.


  1. arrgh! I'm so annoyed... don't know what happened there, but watch this space, "I'll be back!" :)

  2. OGR 10/02/2017

    Hi Dave,

    Sorry about that - don't know what happened there!!! Anyway this is an approximation of what I wrote the first time, and the big message is... time to dial up the professionalism of everything here.... So, your story is sorted, but the first thing to note is that your storyboard is mostly communicating through the annotation under the 'thumbnail-style (i.e. quickly drawn!) panels - and not through the actual depiction of the actions described. This is an issue because the job of your storyboard is to communicate visually - to capture what is going on in terms of articulated your direction of the characters and events. You need to commit fully to the nuts and bolts of what's going on - it's about getting it out of your head and putting it precisely into mine: so much more this:

    No more sketchbook pages, no more blue pencil - I want to see you working with 16:9 templates and I want to see evidence that you've been looking at the storyboard resources on myUCA/Story&Commission/FSTS.

    The other issue is that there is a disparity between the 'worlds' of your three character drawings. Your mouse is basically 'a mouse' now (as opposed to a character), while your Dr Green looks like he's wandered in from the Power Rangers, while your 'Orange Suit' looks like he's come from a more realistic place. For me, your mouse is too much this:

    ... and it was at some point too much this:

    I think your character realism level is somewhere around here:

    Your visual concept/art direction for your whole story needs to be resolved more purposefully - things do seem as if they're in flux. I suggest you lock onto something very bold and strong and use it to organise everything else - characters, sets etc. Your type of story could easily fit in this kind of world:

    or this:

    or this:

    What it must do is 'sit' within an agreed art direction - and that's your prime challenge now.

    In terms of ultimately presenting your character designs, I want you to seek to mirror the professional conventions of the model sheet:

    I want to see you 'leave your hobby space' and 'sketchbook comforts' and move into a more aspirational, outward-looking and client-facing mode of visual communication. Time to go pro.

    1. I see where you're coming from! The template i used was under "16:9" but when printed they were much smaller than anticipated, sadly i tend to find myself in environments where it is mucb harder to create digital work, such as the train, library or to some extent the university due to classes.

      I do think there is a way of using both pencil and being pro, that hades character sheet was sketchy in design but still put the point across very well.
      Simply so i'm not trying to cram multiple hours worth of digital work into the couple hours i have with my tablet. Weekends are a little different but during the week i feel like i'm spending most of my time either on the train where i get most of my sketching done or at university in class, after class activities do vary depending on the day, i'm either working on maya, the reviews or finishing whatever the previous class work was.

      I feel like i'm grinding against a brick wall, i come into university early, i stay behind and have almost been locked in a couple times because i lose track of time and yet even when i put in so many hours of work, my lack of speed makes me look like i've put in a fraction of the hours i actually have. This became obvious in my last assessment.

      I'm hoping now that i have gone through the process of getting screened that i now have the grounds to get the help i've needed for the last 12 years.

      to put this into perspective... acording to my clock this comment took me 2 hours and 45 minutes to type.

      TLDR: I agree with you, i just need to figure out how i can follow your advice.